The Shadow Knows

So. New puppy. From what I've overheard of the wall-piercing chatter from next door, the new puppy's name is Shadow. Shadow is actually a pretty sweet name, which means he was named before they got him. Or maybe they picked a stupid name for him like Gerald and he told them to fuck off. Either way, Shadow is now my favorite character in the play next door.

That being said, I am concerned for Doggy. It's always tough when there's a younger, hotter addition to the family. I don't think the day is too far off when Doggy "runs away" and the neighbors enjoy a new color upon their food palate. I will miss his defiant spirit.

Here is Helga's updated hierarchy:

1. Her Car
   
2. Shadow
3. Cigarettes
4. Profanity
   
5. Montell
6. Geology
7. The Welsh Grape Juice Girl
8. Calamity Jane
9. Roach Eggs
10. Mad-Dog 20/20
    
11. Jean Shorts
12. Obtaining Nirvana
13. Doggy
14. The Dudley Boyz
15. Francophones
    
16. Little Girl #2
17. Thing #1
18. Spam Rewards Catalog
19. Chlamydia
    
20. Little Girl #3?
21. The XFL
    
22. Aaron Carter
    
23. Her Awesome Boyfriend