Mother Knows Best

I found out today that my mother (who lives across the street from us) can hear Helga on the telephone sometimes. My mother, who does not throw around such terms lightly, referred to her as "white trash," so you know there’s something wrong. Also, my mother can only hear out of 7% of one ear, so it’s even more impressive of Helga. If they had a white trash yodeling competition…well…I’d get tickets. Wouldn’t that be the emperor’s tits!?!

Later: More on how “moving out of your parents’ house” DOES include moving more than 35 feet away.