ALERT: The Police Visit The Neighbors!!!!111!!!1bbb!!!!!!

Thanks Be To Allah I Wasn't Watching Porn

Whilst recently enjoying some doctor-perscribed Down Tyme (ie. sitting upon the couch watching this week's episode of LOST), Wolfgang emerges from his Speaker Bedroom with slits for eyes and conspiratorially murmurs, "Do you hear that??"

What? (eyes glued to the tee vee)

"Do you hear that?," motioning to the open door facing The Neighbors.

No, I don't. (Subtext: Leave me be, so I can get back to this thrilling episode)

Wolfgang then proceeds to give me examples of the conversation he attributes to The Neighbors, who upon last glance, aren't even outside.

The snippets he's quoting are verbatim dialog from the program on the tee vee set.

****LOST JOKES ALERT****

-I, for one, would be fine calling them The Others.

-Helga vs. Five Drinks = Jacob vs. Esau

-Calamity Jane is my Constant.

-Rat-a-Tat refers to his penis as "The Black Rock."

-Their Dharma-sponsored food drops contain only Slim Jims, Mountain Dew and Crystal Meth.

-It's been tough to find the time to shout in the driveway recently because they need to stay inside and press the button every 108 minutes.

-The Neighbors are so dumb they actually like the character of Kate Austin (!)

The comments on this blog do not reflect those of producers of LOST, the American Broadcasting Company and its affiliates. Except the part about hating Kate.

Addition by Subtraction

NEW CAR: a silver 1998 Honda Civic with Pennsylvania tags. This could be old news, but I just got home from ten days away.

Also: I got home to find Wolfgang dressed in all black and wearing eyeliner.

I will never leave home again.