I Now Check Zero Dependents

While recently having lunch with our friends Lucas and Leah, we discussed how Philadelphia is a very liberal legal town.  It's a veritable wild west of people breaking leases, shooting folks without consequences, and (most vividly expressed in the example of The Neighbors): rearing children (and pets) in an unsuitable climate, devoid of love and/or compassion, without repercussions.  There's great lawyers in this city that can get you out of ANYthing.  And I mean, EH-NEH-THING.

I have four kids in Rhode Island but then I moved to Philly and I'm not even their dad anymore!

Stale Bubblegum For All My Friends (One Piece)

Have you ever been fascinated with the topic-generated advertisements (pronounced in the British manner) Google places in the bottom right corner of WTFN?

...

...No?

Pity.

(That was a snappy attempt to start a post with a "rhetorical question".  Literary devices!)

(Don't judge, I went to a state school.)

On a recent perusal of the blog (one of the 1231092094922 times I check it daily - just slightly more than my reading list of pathetic sporting blogs) I was tickled in my Laff Zone to see four (4) ads for "Phone Call Recording" and one (1) ad for "trash/recycling."  I think our blog really appeals to Nixon-era espionage and "waste management" fans, not to mention erudite aficionados de comedie.  

We also have generated a whole 28 cents in revenue since launching this lil' ditty, so hat's off to YOU, faithful reader!  YOU made this 28 cents possible!

Stick And/Or Move (Away)

It's time for Helga to give the Little Girls a ride to school, or in Calamity Jane's case the Al Queda "Kidz 4 Allah" workshop.  It's of no surprise to anyone that the song issuing forth from the car stereo is that terrible and raunchy re-make of the Dead or Alive classic* "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)."

Added Bonus:  Helga is wearing a grey sweatshirt AND grey sweatpants, which is one of the most convincing Rocky costumes I've ever been associated with.  I'm going to space out for the next few hours and imagine her punching cuts of beef.

*Who does Mr. "Flo-Rida" think he is to monkey with a masterpiece of '80s culture and then go for the shock value of a thinly-veiled fellatio reference in the hook?  The veterans of '80s Night at the Fuze Box in Albany must be rolling over in their Syphilis-induced graves.