Helga Uses the Strap-On

This afternoon I heard Helga yelling at and lecturing somebody in the side yard. The shade was over the window so initially I could not see who she was yelling at but it sounded like one of the children had done something naughty and was now suffering the wrath of Helga. She was looking especially scary today with multiple tattoos visible, shorts a fit young college girl should have been wearing, a tank top, and the required cigarette in her mouth/hand.

It all began with Helga yelling, "I"m furious", followed by, "You had no right to do that. I'm fucking pissed." Nice language for our quiet little neighborhood. The next sentence was "Why did you use her phone to call Joe?" At this point I became curious about who exactly was at the receiving end of this altercation. I opened the door quietly and saw that she was yelling at Rat-A-Tat in the same manner that she had about a month ago when she caught him riding the child's bike.

I was rather shocked that he had once again pissed off the scary smoke breathing dragon he for some reason lives with despite his previous humiliation. She continued, "This has nothing to do with Joe and Five Drinks, it is between you and her mother and her brother." Now I don't know what the issue was that concerned these people or why poor Joe had been forcibly made aware of the situation through the unauthorized phone call on Five Drinks phone. It was apparent that Helga was very upset about it and had decided to fix the problem for Five Drinks perhaps because she is not mature enough yet to yell.

As if this lecture wasn't emasculating enough Helga stood there and watched him call Joe and apologize for whatever he had told Joe about or done to Joe or whatever just like when a mother watches one of her children until they apologize to the other because they stole a stuffed animal. Joe did not answer but Rat-A-Tat left a voice mail in a very sheepish voice saying he needed to talk to Joe about something.

This all went to prove that not only does Helga wear the pants and the strap-on, she has no problem using it and doesn't even care if she uses any lube.