James Obama 007

Today Helga was using the telephone communication system on her side porch as usual. They must not get reception anywhere else. Or perhaps the cellular waves interfere with the aluminum-heroin alloy they are developing in their living room. Anyway, at one point, Helga mentioned the area code 773 (Chicago) which led Josh & I to believe that she’s one of President Obama’s undercover agents. This happens on TV all the time (especially FOX) so there must be some merit to it: pretend to be supertrash so no one will pay any attention to you if they can help it and will actively try to ignore you (unless they are pathetic enough to take notes on every word you say and then show them to other people).

Maybe all this porch talk is just planting false information. Did you ever see that Pink Panther movie where they are talking to each other on the same line and Inspector Clouseau is listening on the same line? Then he sits in glue and things get silly, but I think our neighbors are better agents than that. At the very least, I'm sure they keep their glue right between the alcohol and the whippets where it belongs. I also overheard her mention the word “email” so it’s very possible that they do, in fact have/understand what computers are (or they are Amish agents trying to throw us off the trail again!).