By “The Lost Archives,” I mean that I found a piece of paper in the mountains of debris on my desk that has some notes from a couple of weeks ago. Since the neighbors are currently being Boo Radleys, I will revisit some previous stories. Join me as I take a trip down Memory Lane (run montage of Helga whining at her kids in slow motion in lots of different poses).
One side of notes refers to the day that Helga was outside listening to her iPod speakers (Wednesday, April 22nd – “Lyttle Women”). However, the comment actually refers to events that had happened even earlier than that (Sunday, April 19th’s post “Home Entertainment Center” and the follow up on Monday, April 20th entitled, “The Beginning Of The End”). If you can somehow follow all that malarkey you must have received high marks in reading comprehension. Or you live your life in a very non-linear fashion.
On this day, Rat-A-Tat (at this point he did not have a name) remarked to Helga, “Why doesn’t anybody bother you guys…” I assume that he was making reference to how Sam (our 3rd floor neighbor) had gone down to tell him to stop blasting music from his truck only a few days previous to this time. Even if Helga’s puny iSpeakers could’ve matched the volume of a TRUCK with a SUBWOOFER, the rest of the neighborhood’s metaphysical eardrums were still ringing from a few days previous. I think they could do with some awareness classes. The following are all offered locally:
Quashing Douchebaggery: How You Can Help
Awareness Of Others (Honors)
Life: Stop Wasting It
Drinks That Don’t Involve Liquor
Civilization & America: Almost Nationwide
Society Hates You
Vehicle Awareness: Things Your Car Can Do Besides Play Music
Cigarettes: New Research Shows They Aren’t Good For You
Alright, they kind of became newspaper headlines toward the end, but you get the idea.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Is there a possibility that I can actually see that montage? Did they mention if they have YouTube?
ReplyDeleteI found your blog through bloggers choice; I even read your archives just to catch up.
ReplyDeleteNeighbours (Canadian spelling for 'neighbors') are the reason I live out in the middle of nowhere; I don't envy you, but I'm happy to have a cheap laugh with you.
I'm going to stalk you for a while and hope you live up to your potential. Drop by my place sometime - Venom, Secrets, & Lies welcomes new friends.
So long as you don't move in next door. ;-)