Uluy

Here I am sitting at my desk browsing BBC.co.uk (read: searching for porn), and I hear some guy over there say, "Ugly...U-L-U-Y?". In case I thought I had imagined it, he then repeated it (again to no response). Maybe they didn't have time for "G" in his elementary class? They certainly spent ample time on the vowels - even the less popular ones. That's what education is all about: efficiency and practicality in teaching. There are a lot more "U"s than "G"s out there...it's a big world.

I also like to imagine that he was writing to his pen pal and he wanted to make sure he had all the spelling perfect because he didn't want to embarrass himself. It would be a good idea for him to use someone just learning English as a second language - that way if he does something wrong, not only will they not notice, but they will think it's correct and use it themselves. Our Neighbors: Polluting English one foreigner at a time. Here is an idea of how the letter went:

Jus had too rite quike noote abot last night theer wuz dis uluy bitch triing two get in my dick but i told her too FUCK OF!!!!!!!!! Yeah! hop u god.

Love, Simon [that's his pseudonym]

P.S. I sumtims dreem abot u.