The Klopek Korollary

I've been inordinately preoccupied with the thought of how much our current reality mirrors the 1989 classic "The 'Burbs."

For those of you slothful, uncultured jerks who haven't seen it (like Wolfgang), Tom Hanks plays Ray Peterson, a gentile family man living in a typical suburban neighborhood. Weird new neighbors move in next door and shatter the peaceful existence enjoyed by Ray and his friends Mark Rumsfield (Bruce Dern) and Art Weingartner (Rick Ducommun). The trio does what every self-respecting citizen would do - they snoop around and assume the worst about the mysterious Klopeks, infuriating Ray's wife Carol (Carrie Fisher) to no end. Once another neighbor is found to be missing (the elderly Walter played by Gale Gordon), Ray and friends plunge into full-on gumshoe mode, where they commit breaking-and-entering crimes, conduct on-site investigations and disrespect all modicums of privacy.

The film's story follows the slow progression of Ray Peterson's belief that the Klopeks are inherently evil. (Figure I)

Ray is willing to make excuses for the Klopeks and refuses to be caught up in the harebrained conspiracies spun by Mark and Art. He's willing to play off the bee attack as mere coincidence and still does not want to get involved during the "Jeopardy!" scene. In fact, he continues to defend the Klopeks even after witnessing the power surge and Hans banging the hell out of the garbage in the middle of the night.

That is, however, until the Vince the dog finds the femur. (Figure II)

Ray is now convinced that the Klopeks have murdered Walter. When confronted with the same evidence, Art now backs off his previous claims and becomes a lily-livered nancyboy apologist. Mark remains consistently insane throughout this transition.

To tie this into our WTFN reality, The Klopeks are quiet and mysterious in every way that The Neighbors are boisterous and blatant about the inner workings of their lives. Where the Klopeks are decidedly non-Slavic, The Neighbors are decidedly white trash. Where the Klopeks murder and have a crematorium in their basement, The Neighbors murder and have a crematorium in their basement (probably).

The inhabitants of 1Prime are a symbiotic amalgamation of the 21st century version of Ricky Butler and Post-Femur Discovery Ray. Like Ricky, we are consciously observing (and enjoying) the overt insanity but are removed from it (that is, of course, until Wolfgang starts his lawn-mowing job).

In summation, WTFN itself is an electronic manifestation of the pizza party thrown by Ricky in the penultimate scene. Class dismissed.