Would It Be Possible for Any of Them to Eat a Salad From Time to Time?

On a recent jaunt into Thrilladelphia, I popped by 1Prime to exchange worn tee-shirts for new ones and pick up mail. I had a few interesting items in my pile, but mostly it was bills: power bill, gas bill ...houseboat bill.

(I expect one person to pick up on that reference and his dick is self-described as "awesome.")

To further promote the idea that I am a secret agent to the greater neighborhood, I donned reflective aviators the size of a training brassiere before heading up the sidewalk. As I traipsed up the familiar concrete steps, I noticed a NEW lady on The Neighbors' porch. I will have to consult with Suzie and Wolfgang (who actually may be dead, because I didn't see either of them during my brief stay) but I would like to christen her Codename: The Innertube, due to the tremendous jelly roll of belly fat emerging from her black tank top.